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Like the Proverbial

2005-04-28

Category: philosophies

You?ve probably heard someone use the phrase ??like the proverbial ?? and then they make a reference to something from a story you?ve possibly heard before. Though it?s a neat use for popular stories, I feel that it gets used a bit too much. The result? I have a plan.

I plan on using the ?proverbial? thing a lot more. I would ask that you, my dearest reader, also use it too much as well. But wait, there?s more. Not only should we use that line excessively, but it is important that we make reference to non-existent stories and characters for our proverbs.

See, people are comfortable when they hear something normal. When they get comfortable they stop paying attention. You don?t want that. If you say, ?like the proverbial little Dutch boy,? everyone knows that you are making reference to the little Dutch boy who bravely prevented the bursting of a levee by stopping the leak by placing his finger in the break. (The usual way of saying this is that he ?plugged a dike with his finger?, but I know where you people would go with that. Sometimes, I don?t know about you people.)

By using a phrase that everyone recognizes, you?ve told them that you are just going to say things they?ve already heard. They don?t need to listen to things they?ve heard before. However, if you use a phrase such as, ?like the proverbial cat with a sombrero,? you will definitely have woken them. They will start paying attention (if for no other reason than the entertainment value.)

That?s why you should use the ?proverbial? phrase as often as possible. You will be doing a public service by encouraging people to pay attention. Those same people may improve their awareness of the world as they frantically try to find the story to which you alluded. You have a civic responsibility to do this.

This next part, you have no responsibility to do. I?m going to beg you to do this because I want it to catch on. Please, please, please make reference to this as many times as you can. It will be well worth it. I?ll be your friend. Please, please, please do this last thing. While you are referencing fake proverbs for your statements, please, at least, say one time, ??like the proverbial spoon with a pig up its butt?? while you do so. It will be such a wonderful thing if you can do this to the world.

So there, that?s my idea and my plea. Together, we can make the world a better place. And then, like the proverbial spoon with a pig up its butt, we can point and laugh at the confusion of others.


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