Ask LB: Noise in the Forest
I received an interesting question and thought I would answer it here.
Question: Hey LB, why do people play their music really loud at the park?
Answer: Say, that's a good question with a simple answer. They play loud music to attract predators. You see, in a olden days large predators roamed the world. They would help thin the human herd by eating the most stupid of them. Somewhere along the line we managed to get rid of all the large predators. Now stupid not only stay alive but they breed quite a bit too. It's called dysgenics.
Don't worry though. Nature has a way of balancing things out. So far we've seen a tendency for stupid people to try to destroy themselves in other ways. Some of them use crystal methamphetamine. Others engage in dangerous activities preceded by their battle cry of, "Hey, y'all watch this." Before too long, their numbers will dwindle and peace will return to the forest.