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How to Cleanse your Space

2009-05-06

Category: crafts

In a recent post I described cleansing the office of evil spirits. It occurs to me that some of you may want more details on how to do this yourself. Here?s how to handle this when your personal space gets that not so fresh feeling.

Sometimes your office will have an evil or misguided spirit lurking around. Other times, it may just be an undefined negative energy. Still other times, it may be a lost bit of tuna sandwich hung up in the computer cables behind the desk. Regardless of the type of haunting, the methods for dealing with it are always the same. Also note that these techniques work in the office as well as the home or dorm room.

Cleaning

Start by actually cleaning the space. This is a real cleaning of the type where you throw out the garbage and wipe things off. (Not those things, get your mind out of the gutter.) Use a disinfectant cleanser of the appropriate type for the surfaces being cleaned. Open the windows and let fresh air in, if it is safe to do so. Throw out old food and underwear. If these things seem to remove the haunting, you may be done at this point.

Smudging

The next step is to smudge with white sage. You can use other incense, but white sage is one of the best for a healthy, clean feeling. The Native Americans used to bundle the leaves of the white sage, dry them out, and let them smolder. This is smudging with white sage. (The other meaning of smudge does not apply here. Do not smear white sage all over everything, especially if you plan to ignite the white sage later.)

White sage is really good for this stuff because it burns with large particles that cool quickly and fall out of the air. While still in the air, the particles attract all the smaller particles. The particles all stick together when they cool so the large particles take the small ones out at the same time. Oh, and the stuff is sacred and will purify the essence of the space.

Chanting

After smudging, you can chant. Chanting sets up powerful, positive harmonics in your space. It also helps you focus all your intention on making your world a better place by repeating the positive pattern in your mind and retraining your brain to bring only positive energies to you. Just as effective, chanting really annoys the crap out of some evil spirits who will leave just to get away from that noise.

To chant, you pick an appropriate series of words or sounds and you repeat them over and over again rhythmically. The worlds can be a positive message in your own language such as, ?Hope and Change. Hope and Change.? Alternately, if you are sure it is an evil spirit, you can try an assertive, negative chant such as, ?If you don?t leave I?m going to sodomize you, you SOB!? Of course, some people prefer to chant in an ancient and mystical language like this, ?Yo, yo, yo, I got my bitches and my hos, makin all my monies and dancing fo my bros.?

Talismans

Once you?ve finished chanting, you want to put up protective talismans to protect your space from further intrusions. Some people like to use shiny things such as beaten gold or jars full of miniature mirrors. Others will use gargoyles or garden gnomes. Be careful not to use too many gnomes or people may think you are Gnomeosexual. You can also use various religious items. It helps if the item is from your own religion

Helpers

If this seems like a lot of work, you can get others to do it for you. You can hire a spiritualist to do the work. Though some spiritualists work quite heavily with nature, do not be tempted to hire a naturist to so the job; they are distinctly different things. You should also consider getting some followers to help you out. I?ve already written instructions for doing that.

Conclusion

No matter what route you take, there is no reason for you to be haunted by evil entities. There are always ceremonies and divorce proceedings that can do the trick.


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