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Interview with Mr Hippy

2003-12-02

Category: prose

LB: I’m here today talking with war protester Andy Hippy. Tell me, Mr. Hippy, what is it that you got you so mad about the war?

AH: I don’t think there should be any war, man. We should all just mind our own business and stuff. That way we can live in peace.

LB: That’s interesting Andy. If you really thought people should mind their own business, wouldn’t you stay home and not get involved in war protests.

AH: Oh no, you have to get involved. If we don’t take a stand for what’s right, who will? You definitely have to get out there and do something. It’s a small world and what happens in one place will affect you too.

LB: So you have to mind your own business while staying involved because other people’s business becomes you business because it’s a small world.

AH: Yea, something like that.

LB: I see. So you think it was a good idea to remove Saddam Hussein because he was hurting people and would threaten us eventually?

AH: That’s a lie. There’s no proof that he was going to threaten us. They haven’t proved nothing.

LB: But it is good that he’s not hurting the Iraqis though?

AH: They haven’t proved anything about weapons of mass destruction. They just wanted oil.

LB: Now that we’re there, do you support our troops?

AH: You gotta support the troops man. They are our brave soldiers who fight to keep us free and stuff. I definitely support the troops.

LB: How does that affect your war protests?

AH: That’s why I’m protesting. I love our fighting men and women. I just don’t want them to get hurt. We should bring them home so they won’t get shot at and stuff. None of them signed up for the kind of dangers they face, man.

LB: Actually, that’s exactly what soldiers sign up for. That what being a soldier means. They join up to be part of the military that fights against aggressive groups of people with guns.

AH: That’s fascist talk. Our soldiers are peaceful, man. They don’t want to hurt nobody and we don’t think they should be any place they might get hurt.

LB: Isn’t that like saying you don’t want firefighters to go near fires because they might get hot?

AH: Oh man, I never thought about that. Firefighters really are in danger. Somebody should do something about that. Those poor firefighters.

LB: Don’t forget the police. They’re in all kinds of danger. Criminals are always shooting at the police.

AH: You’re right. What can we do about it? How can we stop the madness?

LB: I can see that you’re distraught. Let me ask these last couple of questions and then I’ll let you get back to your important work. Do you really believe that our soldiers, police and firefighters should only be allowed to go to safe places where they are in no danger at all?

AH: That’s the only way they can be safe to defend the people and serve and protect and stuff. We have to keep our defenders safe or they can’t protect us. Isn’t that obvious?

LB: Uh, sure. What would you say if a soldier said he or she wanted to be in the dangerous area?

AH: That soldier just wants to look macho by threatening people. Soldiers like that are the real terrorists.

LB: Hmm. One last question, if we try to keep the soldiers safe by only letting them go to safe places, what do we do if one wants to go home but he or she lives in Washington D.C., Los Angeles, or East St. Louis? Should we keep them from going because they might be in danger?

AH: My heads hurts. No more war! No more war! No more …

LB: We say good bye to Mr. Hippy as he returns to his protest. Hopefully we’ve all learned something. If you’ll excuse me, I’m overdue for my nap.


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