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One Day in Africa

2007-04-04

Category: prose

Two slender, grey space aliens carried some small cases up the ramp of their saucer. A warm breeze blew across the savannah and into the ship. The alien on the left slapped the alien on the right on the back of the head while saying, ?I can?t believe you did that.?

The one on the right pulled away from the slap. ?Just because you have your hang ups, don?t think the rest of the universe has to have them.?

The one on the left pushed the button to close the ramp. ?You always do that on every planet we visit. It doesn?t matter the level of genetic or technological development, you find some species that gets you going.?

?Try it, you might like it,? said the other.

A third alien turned the corner and entered the seen. ?What?s all the noise?? it asked.

The left alien pointed his thumb toward the alien on the right, ?Xorg here was at it again.?

The third rolled its eyes. ?You got to be kidding me. What with this time??

The right alien held up the case in its right hand. ?I just got back from collecting these samples and I see him there doing his hot, primate action.?

The third alien pointed a finger at Xorg. ?You are supposed to be collecting DNA, not leaving it behind.?

Xorg shrugged his shoulders. ?It?s not like it?s going to hurt anything. I?ve had my shots; I?m not going to catch anything. I?m not leaving any diseases behind.?

?Didn?t you read the reports on the indigenous life forms? Those primates are genetically similar to us. What if you get one pregnant??

Xorg shook his head. ?I?ve been poking species all over this galaxy and haven?t knocked one up yet. What?s the likelihood that it?s going to happen to one of those hairy, little apes on this rock??

The right alien?s eyes widened. ?Did you say ?one of those?? Just how many of them did you, you know.?

?They all look sort of the same. I don?t know, maybe nine or ten, could have been twelve??

The third alien shook his head. ?You had time for your little ritual twelve times? When did you get your samples collected??

Xorg held up his cases. ?I got all my samples. I know it?s business before pleasure.?

They stood quietly for a moment.

Third alien shook his head again. ?All right, put your samples away and get ready to take off.? He turned to Xorg and pointed his long, boney finger at Xorg?s face. ?Just remember, if we come back here in the future and those apes are walking upright, using fire or tools, you are going to be in a lot of trouble.?

?Relax; it?s never going to happen.?


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