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Curse Results

2004-02-13

Category: prose

These days people don't take the old curses as seriously as they used to. My gypsies and psychics tell me that there is reason to be concerned because most curses have been updated for the modern world. Watch yourself or you might just find yourself as the victem of one of these.

  1. Superfluous sphincter
  2. A pox on your monkey
  3. Interior nose pimples
  4. Ingrown scrotal/labial hairs
  5. French accent
  6. French hygiene
  7. Addiction to gelatin deserts and/or guppies
  8. Ear migration
  9. Feathery orifice
  10. Kerry Hair
  11. Plaid
  12. Corduroy burns
  13. Political office
  14. Blind date with wrong gender
  15. Blind date with wrong species
  16. 'W' Speech Pauses
  17. Mistaken for serial killer
  18. Mistaken for other species
  19. Mistaken for wrong gender
  20. Drunken involvement with public property
  21. Obsession with Disco
  22. Anything with Disco
  23. Perpetual loose stool
  24. Buttwig
  25. Being put on every spammer's mailing list

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