Red Winged Black Bird on a fence post in a field.

Halloween 2005


Category: General

It?s Halloween again! That?s my favorite holiday. I particularly like giving out candy to children who have been getting tiny little bite-sized candy bars all night. When they see the dripping handfuls of loot they get from me their eyes get huge. Of course, there is more to things than that. (Please note: Due to my class schedule I will not be home to hand out candy this year and that sucks.)

By now, most people know the origins of the Night. It?s the Celtic New Year and those goofy guys thought that the walls between this world and other, spookier worlds grew very thin. If those walls get too thin then naughty things come through and do naughty things to you, and I don?t mean the good ones. To help survive the situation, people could wear scary costumes to confuse the beasties. (Another note: This version of the origins of Halloween is not the only one being bandied about. It is, however, the one that is based on the current rewriting of history.)

Of course, today we have science and aren?t scared of stuff that doesn?t have a technological origin. Sure, our top physicists and mathematicians say that there are more dimensions to the universe than just the four we normally experience. What if those dimensions coexist with us at all times. It would take a huge event to change our perception of those things. By this I mean something astronomically huge, like moving the planet just so. What kind of force could align our planet on its orbit like that the same way every year?

As for some sort of monsters, you shouldn?t worry about that. We don?t have too many records of newly discovered creatures running off with people. Sure, there have been lots of unsolved missing person cases worldwide throughout time, but that?s probably not anything other-worldly. Even if the physicists do think there are these other dimensions existing in the same place we exist and that forces on those planes affect things on this plane, you shouldn?t spend any time seriously worrying about it.

Yes, they do say those other planes do affect us; that?s how they know that they exist, but it?s not like some mystical underworld. When you get that sudden chill it?s because of stray neural impulses, not because some extra-dimensional thing swam through you. When you see some apparition in the corner of your eye, you don?t need to worry that it saw you as well. Don?t worry about noises that you think you can barely hear but can?t really hear. There is no reason to believe that it is caused by some Thing.

Throughout the twentieth century, writers such as H. P. Lovecraft produced tales of scary things just beyond our perception. They described these things as being covered with tentacles and teeth. In many cases, these creatures are the remnants of the ancient Sumerian gods and they are called to our dimension because some crazy cultists wanted power and read from some ancient book. As though you could really unleash some unspeakable abomination just by reading, ?Ak Thanoth Sussra Bah?zoog!? Of course, you would probably have to read it aloud and just not to yourself while perusing some web site.

So, please just enjoy a fun Holiday full of dressing in costumes and giving out candy to children. Pay no attention to flashes of thing seen out of the corner of your eye or to the raising of hairs on your legs, arms, or the back of your neck. Those math and science guys have not proven anything about extra-dimensional entities being responsible for people going missing so you can relax and tuck your feet back under your desk or turn off your light.

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