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Winter Olympic Predictions 2006


Category: General

My predictions for the Winter Olympics are fairly sparse this year. It simply consists of the surprise when a ski jumping event is won by an athlete from the Federated States of Micronesia. My predictions for the next Winter Olympics are much better.

After being channeled through a member of someone?s psychic department, Osama bin Laden decides the best way to dishearten the west is to beat western athletes at a purely western sport. He picks his best men and immediately starts training them in curling.

When the Winter Olympics arrive, the al Qaeda athletes take all three top medals in curling. This comes as a complete shock to everyone. The Canadian prime minister is quoted as saying, ?this is a travesty, eh.? He immediately makes the capture of bin Laden the top priority for the RCMP. The surprise victory affects the rest of the world as well, causing many questions such as, ?What the hell is curling??

Spurred on by the victory, many other terrorist groups decide to take part in athletic competitions. Most notable of these is Hammas which sends their best rock throwers to compete in shot put events.

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