Mister Login

2006-09-23

I find some computer problems to be more annoying than others. The problems where there is no reasonable explanation for the issue and no documentation for the systems involved. It?s all part of the adventure.

So I tell the computer, ?Hey, Computer with this I.P. address, give me access to port 23.?

Xinetd hears me and turns back toward the smoke-filled, dark room to yell, ?He, Telnet, you got a customer.?

Telnet leans back from the card table, straining to get a better look at me. ?I don?t know anything about that. Hey, Login, do me a favor; go see who this mook is.?

Login pushes himself off his folding chair with a groan. He shuffled over, rolled the cigar from one side of his mouth to the other. ?Who are you and how do I know it?s really you?? he growled.

I gave him my login name and password.

?Wait here while I go check.? He shuffled back into the guys playing cards. ?PAM, this joker says you know him. Do you??

PAM?s real name is Pluggable Authentication Modules but the shorter name is just more convenient. It reminds me of a biker I knew a few decades back who went by the name ?Pal? because he hated being called ?Perry?.

He looked up at Login. ?I might know him; hold on. LDAP, do we know this joker??

LDAP rearranged the cards in his hands. ?Yea, we know him. He?s ok.?

PAM turned back to Login. ?Yea, LDAP says he?s all right. You can trust him.?

Login looked back at me and turned to Telnet. ?You don?t know him. Don?t do no business with him. Tell him to go away.?

Then Telnet tells me to go away.

If you noticed, everything went well right up to the end. There are log files telling me all of the details except for the reason why the Login fails when it has been told that verification is good. All the books and web sites say that it doesn?t happen. That solves everything.

To tell the truth, I?m having a lot of fun. The problem is a challenge to me and it?s in a subject I enjoy. Basically, one of my hobbies involves me playing with my computers. The job is almost identical to my hobby. If you can make a living with your hobby, I highly recommend it.

Now, if you?ll excuse me, I need to talk to some software about Mr. Login having an ?accident? if you know what I mean.