Democrats and Tumors
As you have probably heard by now, U.S. Senator Edward Kennedy has been diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor. This is very sad news for members of the Democratic Party who revere Kennedys as gods. Using my keen observation and modeling skills, I have put together this prediction of the likely plan of action for the Democrats in this matter.
- Form a committee, decide that though they respect the tumor's right to exist, the tumor is causing harm and must be stopped
- Send letter to tumor asking it to stop
- Hold a rally
- sing Kumbaya and show poorly-written, anti-tumor signs
- Blame old, white, Republican men for the tumor
- Shout "No tumor for oil!"
- Respond to conservative radio hosts who claim that tumors are part of a vast, left-wing conspiracy.
- Make t-shirts and bumper stickers with semi-pithy sayings about making love not run-away genetic mutations
- Boycott companies rumored to be pro-tumor
- Get celebrities to go to UN to speak out against tumor and demand economic sanctions
- Propose congressional resolution against tumor
- Gather to mourn those lost to tumors
- Start fund raiser to build tumor-related memorial
Yes, cancer is bad.