Software Design Simplified
This is the software design process put into simplified language.
Step 1:Get an initial description of the project
"What the hell you talking about?"
Step 2:Ascertain the Stakeholders
"Who the hell told you to do that?"
Step 3:Get more details about the Specifications
"What's so-and-so going to do with it?"
"How's what's-his-name going to use it?"
"How the hell do they expect to do that?"
"When the hell do they want it?"
"Did they eat too much lead paint as kids?"
Step 4:Analyze needed and available resources
"Yea, well somebody better cough up some money."
"What the hell do you mean 'get it done anyway'?"
Step 5:Layout data flow
"You can take this and cram it up your..."
Step 6:Write software
"Leave me alone, I'm coding."
Step 7:Make progress reports
"I said leave me alone, I'm coding!"
Step 8:Test the software
"It's supposed to do that."
"Well, maybe you aren't using it right."
Step 9:Demonstrate to the stakeholders
"But that's what you said you wanted. You wrote it down right here."
Step 10:Reiterative maintenance
"Fine, I'll change it. Are you sure that's what you want?"
Step 11:Take a well deserved rest
"Fired? But they said they wanted that. They wrote it down right here."