Well, it?s Easter in these parts. For some, this is a very Holy day. For others, it?s a day when those who think it?s a very Holy day get extra obnoxious. Either way, I think I should give you, my loyal readers, a few suggestions to liven up the festivities.
Under cook or forget to cook the eggs that you dye and hide for the kids.
- Add some extra-slippery, silicone-based lubricant to the eggs if the kids are just toddlers. It really wears out the rug-rats trying to pick up those slippery, little suckers.
- Oil of Ipecac in the Easter candy is always a hoot (if you don?t have to clean up).
- Go to the Easter aisle in your favorite store (not actually Easter Isle). Find the bendy rabbits; you know the ones, they have wire inside and rubber molded around. Bend a few of them into the classic ?crucified? pose and then leave them on the display.
- Find a full sized, plush Easter Bunny. Hang it by the neck from a tree near where kids will be doing the egg hunt. (The strain can get to anyone.)
- If the egg hunt will take place in a grassy area, go the night before and put up ?Keep off the Grass? signs. If you can use the ones that mention chemicals, it?ll work better.
- My favorite of all: Go to all the churches in your neighborhood early Sunday morning. Alter the signs in front to say, ?Closed for Easter.?