Beware of Pirates
Oh what a dire time.
It is sad that I must remind you all that tomorrow, September 18th, is International Talk Like A Pirate Day. That?s right; all over the world morons will be doing their best to imitate cheesy, movie pirates.
This atrocity has been happening for years now and the United Nations has done nothing about it (thus proving that it?s a legitimate problem.) There are no laws. There are no interventions.
What can you do?
Well, you must first be aware of the problem. When your idiotic coworker addresses you as his ?matey?, you?ll know what he is talking about. Likewise, you may hear many people say, ?Arrrr.? Just ignore them with the hope that they will go away.
A bigger concern is Pastafarians. You may recall that these folks are adherents of Flying Spaghetti Monsterism. Their belief is that global warming is punishment for the decline in the number of Pirates in the world. The only way to save the world, they think, is to increase the number of persons in pirate clothes who speak in ?traditional? pirate cant. They will try to convert you.
Write your elected officials and demand that this practice be stopped. (If you live in a country where you don?t elect your government, you may want to remind them that Pirate Day is a subversive act.) Most importantly, don?t participate. If you do, the reset of us will shake our heads and say, ?What a moron.?