Christmas Gift Excuses

2005-12-25

Well, it?s Christmas and many of you have given gifts that didn?t quite live up to the expectations of the receiver. Don?t worry, LibertyBob is here to help. I?ve compiled this small assortment of excuses that you can use when someone has expressed displeasure at your gift selection. If one of these excuses doesn?t solve your problem, consider telling the person to go do something unpleasant to his or her self.

1. The guy next door stayed up too late so Santa didn?t come.
2. I asked your lover and she/he said you liked this.
3. Santa had trouble making it through tightened security.
4. The CIA captured Santa and is holding him in a secret prison in Serbia.
5. An Italian court issued an international warrant for Santa?s arrest.
6. I read that the gift you wanted causes cancer.
7. I donated your gift money to Hurricane Katrina victims (and beer).
8. If I give you a gift, the terrorists win.
9. Gifts are so commercial.
10. I?m helping to build the suspense for the really good gift I?ll give you in an unspecified future year.