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God Hates North Dakota

2009-03-25

Category: General

North Dakota is being inundated with flood waters again. It was only a few years ago that they were nearly washed away. Why would this happen? According to typical fundamentalist Christian ideology, they are just being punished by God.

To find out more, we talked to a fundamentalist Christian preacher, Brother Bill. Here's what happened.

LB: Thanks for helping, Brother Bill.

BB: Happy to help spread God's word.

LB: So tell us, why do you think North Dakota is being flooded?

BB: The Lord hates sinners, LibertyBob. The Lord hates sinners.

LB: Do you think there are that many sinners in North Dakota?

BB: We are all sinners in the Lord's eyes. These North Dakota folks must have done something awfully sinful to get this much of the Lord's wrath.

LB: Can you think of a particular sin that is notable in North Dakota?

BB: Well, I, uh, well they are probably terrible sinners. I don't know; maybe they got gays or something.

LB: Surely there are more sinful places to wash out.

BB: The Lord works in mysterious ways. Who knows why He would choose to visit His wrath upon those wicked people and leave Las Vegas alone.

LB: Well, Brother Bill, we appreciate your insights.

I think that pretty much sums up the whole "God hates North Dakota" thing. I guess we'll have to see how that plays out.


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