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Things People Thought Today

2007-02-13

Category: General

In the Mid-West today we are experiencing a winter storm. These events are not uncommon in winter, so most everyone knows how to handle it. However, there are a few who do not like to play nice on the slick roads. Their actions show their thoughts. I provide those thoughts for you here.

  • There doesn?t seem to be anyone behind him for a good mile or so. I think I?ll wait till he gets close and then pull out in front of him.
  • That guy looks like he?s backing his little car out from between two large sport-utility vehicles. Since he probably can?t see well, I should accelerate to ?much faster than parking lot speeds? to get behind him.
  • It?s cloudy with lots of blowing snow to hamper everyone?s vision. I know how to make it better; I?ll drive my road-colored car with no lights on. For bonus points, I?ll drive really fast.
  • I have four-wheel-drive. That means I can accelerate right up to the back bumper of this little car in front of me. He?s only got front-wheel-drive. Hey, why don?t my four-wheel-drive breaks work on this icy patch?
  • I have to pull out in front of the coming vehicles because traffic is just so heavy. They?ve got two lanes going this direction and I only need one. Which one should I take? I know; I?ll take the middle one.
  • I?m a pedestrian and I would like to cross the street. Rather than cross at a cross-walk, I?ll stand in the middle of the street, refusing to go until all the cars are gone by. They?d go by a lot faster if they didn?t have to swerve around me where I stand in the lane.
  • It?s fun to do a minor, residential sidewalk repair in blizzard conditions. I hope nobody minds that we?ve narrowed a major thoroughfare down to one lane during the busiest hours of the day. It?s not like we?ve distracted them with warning signs or anything.
  • Back in my day we was taught to go nice and easy in this bad weather. This is the speed I went then and it?s the speed I?m going today. Of course, back then I was driving a mule cart?

You must keep it in mind that I?m giving a lot of credit to some of these people when I suggest that they were thinking. Overall, Cedar Rapids is a safe place to drive. Our population is roughly that of Iceland?s. That means that the small percentage of morons just seem to have higher numbers. It could be worse, though; we could be Chicago.


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