Red Winged Black Bird on a fence post in a field.

Immigration Solution Found


Category: politics

There?s a lot of concern over immigration these days. Some are worried about security problems from undocumented foreign nationals entering the country. Others are worried about aliens taking jobs from American workers. [NOTE: in this article, the word alien refers to foreign persons, not entities from space.] Well, you have little to worry about; LibertyBob has the solution.

You see, Mexico just passed a law that decriminalizes possession of small quantities of drugs. This means that if you are caught with an amount of heroine or cocaine that is determined to be for personal use, the police won?t arrest you for it. How does this help the immigration problem? Simple, let me explain.

With the new law, large numbers of junkies and other losers will leave the United States of America and head straight for Mexico. This will more than offset number of hard working Mexicans who have come north. Since our losers pretty much hold the low end jobs the immigrants will fill, the immigrants won?t be taking anyone?s job. The losers will have already given up the employment.

This takes care of the problem of immigrants taking American jobs. What about the undocumented alien problem?

As I mentioned above, we have far more losers than immigrants. This means we will have to make it easier for immigrants to get in and get started working. To do this we will have to streamline the red tape. With an easier, more inviting system, fewer immigrants will feel the need to sneak in illegally.

Of course, there is still the matter of the undocumented aliens already here. Normally I would be quite upset with people who break the law. Though I don?t approve of breaking immigration laws, right now it is more important to get these folks documented than it is to punish anyone. That means amnesty.

For a short time, we should encourage undocumented aliens to become documented. Since we are going to need all these workers any way, to replace our losers, such an amnesty is not a bad thing.

Before finishing this post, I would like to comment on a couple of things that bug me about protestors on both sides. The most obvious is for those who argue that people must learn English to be part of America. If you are going to make this argument you will want to double-check your grammar, spelling, pronunciation, and other things that prove that you know English. Nothing makes you look more like a moron than using poor English while saying how important it is to learn. (Of course this may encourage immigrants to learn English just so they don?t look as stupid as you.)

Some protestors have signs with the words, ?Illegal Alien? crossed out and the sentence, ?People are not illegal? underneath. Please note that you have missed the point. It is true that laws prohibit actions, not people or things; that?s not the actual translation of the ?illegal alien? phrase. You will never be able to make a valid argument by trying to play with word meanings. That is not how cleverness works, you twit.

The main concern I always have is that people on both sides will make stupid arguments rather than being rational. No real solution will be made as long as people are stupid. Still, as soon as news of Mexico?s new drug law gets out, the US will move slowly toward losing many of its morons.

Comments (12)
You gotta pick the right guy to do the job.
Go out now and vote for LibertyBob.
...and in domestic news, research has shown that your father left because you were such a disappointment.