LibertyBob for County Auditor
Our good friend Ken over at http://scurvybastard.com has decided he doesn't like that our county auditor is running for reelection unopposed. He feels this is undemocratic. For that reason, he has started a write-in campaign to elect LibertyBob as the county auditor for Linn County Iowa.
Some people may wonder why they should write me in when voting for county auditor. For that reason, I present this list of the things I will do if they elect me.
1) I will laugh out loud with one of those exaggerated maniacal laughs that villains used in old 1940's serials.
2) I will buy Ken a round at a local watering hole
3) I will encourage my "supporters" to throw me a victory party
4) I will do my darnedest to find out what a county auditor does by looking to see if there is a "County Auditing for Dummies"
5) To help hide the fact that I don't know what a county auditor is supposed to do, I will fire everybody who works for the current auditor, citing sedition as a reason
6) I will see how much of my budget is available for vacation
7) With all of that one, it will be time to fire up the old propaganda machine to let everyone know that things would be much worse without me stopping the evil forces led by the county auditor from Johnson County to the south
I'm guessing that the term is for at least one year and maybe two. At about eighty-five grand a year, and having access to the county budget, I think I could have a good year or two. Of course, I couldn't do too much harm; I love my home county too much to damage the reputation of the future governor of the Great State of Iowa.
(Queue up the music)